Sorry y'all...

My internet's been down all day thanks to Comcast...freakin morons! I'll post Testicle Tuesday tomorrow.

Testicle Tuesday...the girls of American Pie

Every once in a while a movie catches you totally off guard. That's what happened when I first saw American Pie. The movie generated a huge buzz in the college town I lived at the time. But since its biggest fans were insipid dumbasses I wasn't expecting much. Boy was I pleasanntly surprised! What unfolded was a raunchy tour de comedy that had me rolling. Another surprise was the hotness quotient of its female cast. In tribute to a comedy classic I bring you the American Pie hotties!

Words do not begin to describe the sexy yet hilarious bedroom scene wherein Shannon Elizabeth made young Jim experience premature *eh hem*...twice.

Tara Reid was chunkier in the original AP than her current slender and ever so sexy physique.

Mena Suvari went on to tempt Kevin Spacy in American Beaauty, causing nearly every male that saw the movie to entertain thoughts of scantily clad high school chicks showering in rose pedals.

Alyson Hannigan really came into her hotness on Buffy The Vampire Slayer and How I Met Your Mom. "Say my name bitch!"

Testicle Tuesday...gotta love those blood suckers

I'm an unabashed fan of vampire movies and hot women. When you combine the two I get damn near catatonic with glee. Here are the most memorable female vampires in television & cinema history, minus the recently immortalized Selma Hayak (From Dusk Til Dawn) and Kate Beckinsale (Underworld).

Sadie Frost played the juicy red maned vampiric vixen in Bram Stoker's Dracula. So hot was she you nearly forgot the movie had Winona Ryder, Keaneu Reaves, Anthony Hopkins, and Gary Oldman.

Julie Benz was the hottest female vampire on TV in the Buffy series.

When I first saw The Lost Boys in the late 80's my initial thought was, "Jamia Gertz should have been naked at least once."

One of the most bizarre and eerily captivating vampire flicks was The Hunger. In it David Bowie played the lover of fellow vampire Catherine Deneuve. Deneuve plays an ageless and scorching hot vampire who sired Bowie's character centuries earlier. An atmospheric yet tedious and slow movie, The Hunger highlights Deneuve's flawless visage.

Aaliya died in a plain crash shortly after the filming of Queen of the Damned and six months before its release...may she rest in peace.

There's a new series on CBS called Moonlight, wherein Shannyn Sossamon stars as an on again, off again minion of vampiric beauty.

Later y'all.